On line computer sex chat
One of the unfortunate realities of chat rooms is that sexual talk -- sometimes harmless, sometimes explicit -- often appears in rooms that have nothing to do with dating, sex or relationships.
One commentator calls chat rooms "safety valves" for strong emotions, opinions and urges that most people can't, or wouldn't want to express in real life [source: The Industry Standard].
Second, there's the issue of expectations you two have not discussed.
This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.
Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.
First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.
Cybersex, also called computer sex, Internet sex, netsex and, colloquially, cyber or cybering, is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more people connected remotely via computer network send each other sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience.